I think I'm dumb, maybe just happy

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

420core:

h8moshofficial:

420tears:

h8moshofficial:

there’s a part of your dick called the meatus and if thats not the funniest shit ever idk what is 

please show me the scientific evidence so i can laugh forever

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R U TELLING ME I CUM FROM MY MEATUS? this is the most advanced thing i have ever heard and also the best joke i will ever tell for the rest of my life

that-angle-of-refraction-though:

The movement of a single particle in an Ocean wave

that-angle-of-refraction-though:

The movement of a single particle in an Ocean wave

wannabeastarshipranger:

perchu:

FILED UNDER: JOKES I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AS A CHILD

they were talking about his height 

They had not met him yet. This was a penis joke.

galaxypug:

galaxypug:

why does facebook chat only work when my message contains the words Mark Zuckerburg right now

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ewzzy:

Driver’s Licenses: Official. Do not print out and pretend to be a Princientist.

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
davediddlystrider:

sixpenceee:

Thermal recording of the ALS ice bucket challenge (source)

this looks like people dumping buckets of black magic clothes onto their bodies

davediddlystrider:

sixpenceee:

Thermal recording of the ALS ice bucket challenge (source)

this looks like people dumping buckets of black magic clothes onto their bodies

tramampoline:

callurn:

thestarkwhoskateboards:

callurn:

Kill Bill technically takes place in the same universe as Spy Kids just so you all know

how do you figure that

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uncle machete from spy kids is the same machete from machete and machete kills, if that wasn’t clear

readtheaboutpage:

donejustdone:

500daysofevilexes:

loseegoose:

 

This is legit.

More PSAs need to stop worrying about offending people and get down to the nitty gritty like this. It’s the only way to open so many eyes.

shit

If people are offended, they are probably guilty.

arnbrosia:

quickweaves:

THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL VINE 

send this to all the straight boys in your life

rudolphofficial:

is michael cera even a real person?

asktheconsultants:

sizvideos:

Watch it in video

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Saw this when it came out and I couldn’t stop smiling. If you watch the full video you notice how quickly she spouts off these things, how rapid fire each question is and you can tell each word is like a machine gun bullet to the guy’s head. And you know what?

That’s how we feel. 

t3mplvr:

miss-love:

thepsycheofdee:

66-seals-of-fuck-you:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

scumsucking-roadwh0re:

#DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME IM NOT OVER THIs

friendly reminder that when the actor who played khal drogo met the actress who plays daenerys he shouted “WIFEY!” and tackled her

Also reminder that during one of the sex scenes they were supposed to film, he came on with a sock puppet on his dick and Emilia Clarke was laughing so hard they had to take a ten minute break. 

​My life is
INFINITELY better knowing those tidbits of information

at the Q&A panel I went to with him he said before every sex scene with her he would go “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY” before getting into character and going at it

these two are everything

lt-fleur:

dulceelena2000:

some of the funniest jokes on gravity falls

You forgot 

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